Tying the Knot

By Pastor Larry

Tying the knot 2I love weddings. There is something about the public expression of love and commitment, the community gathering and celebrating, and the holy moment of blessing that always touches my soul. There is something beautiful, glorious and ancient at work here. I often sense the dawn of creation breaking through like the faint aroma of perfume.

I really love weddings and I know I am not alone. While the percentage of people getting married is declining, there are still many people who tie the knot every year. Trends come and go with destination weddings, extravagant church ceremonies and simple outdoor gatherings rising and falling in popularity. The place, style and formalities change over time but people still take the step and pay the price, and the price is not cheap.

The average cost of weddings in Canada now stands at just over $23,000.00, which doesn't include the honeymoon. No matter what tax bracket you are in, it is not cheap or easy to have a wedding. It takes time, effort, sweat equity and lots of money. Family and friends are enlisted, endless lists of responsibilities are acted upon and our cash disappears rapidly. Most of us willingly and joyfully sign up to help. We are willing do extra things, go without sleep and offer our assistance. Weddings seem to elicit our best efforts.

I just wonder why the same is not true for the marriage the wedding creates?

Why is it that so many people will spend big dollars for a wedding but refuse to pay for counseling to make the marriage work? Why are so many people invited to witness and celebrate the wedding but then are told to mind their own business when the marriage is in trouble? Why are so many people willing to sacrifice and go without sleep to make the wedding happen but are not willing to work at the marriage? How can we justify this massive disconnect between working hard for the event that officially launches the relationship and refusing to work as hard to keep the relationship going? Why do weddings elicit our best efforts but not the marriage the wedding creates?

I love weddings and I love healthy marriages so I offer a simple suggestion. Until you have spent as much on counseling, marriage renewal retreats and marriage resources as you spent on your wedding, don't even consider calling it quits. Until you have asked as many family members and friends for help as you asked to help with your wedding, don't even think about untying the knot. And until you have put as much sweat equity into making your marriage work as you put into making the wedding happen, don't even think about visiting a website telling you how to obtain a quick and easy divorce.

If you can make a wedding work, you can make your marriage work. It won't be cheap or easy but it is worth keeping the knot tied.


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